I was sitting around the house yesterday and saw that the new Toxic Avenger was showing on Prime. What the hell, ya know? I figured I would watch it.
The original from Troma Entertainment is definitely a classic, if not just for the excessive gore, but for the laughably comedic effects, the subpar acting, and its ability to completely entertain. From a gym rat getting his head popped like a cantaloupe to a child being run over by a car and gangsters taking Polaroids of the body, you definitely got your fill of gore.
For some reason, though, the gore is entertaining. It's not like watching Saw, Hostel, or even when Art the Clown decides to saw a woman in half while she's hanging upside down. The gore is visual and exciting. You wonder how they actually got the head to crush or the limbs to be ripped off. Well, you knew how they did it, but they made it look so fun and disgusting.
All in all, the original had a particular kind of mean-spirited, anarchic humor that is difficult to reproduce when you throw money and recognizable actors at it without understanding the source material or why it was popular.
Now that I've got that out of my system, this new version is just as zany and gory, but my gosh, is it bad. Not classic bad either, just bad.
I enjoyed some of the effects, but the noticeable computer-generated gore took away that feeling of watching a low-budget gross-out comedy "horror" movie. I get it, they wanted to liven up the old classic and make it enjoyable for everyone. They fell flat, though. One scene of mass carnage was completely ruined when I could practically see the computer editing adding the wounds.
Peter Dinklage is a great actor, and I love watching him, but as Toxie, he just wasn't it. Toxie is not some smaller-statured toxic beast. He is a mutated person who was given immense physical strength and fought bullies and criminals. His whole personality changed from a timid weakling into a confident, brutal vigilante. Dinklage is just a mutated version of Winston Gooze who can heal magically and fights with a toxic mop that apparently wipes away whatever part of a person it touches.
I can't accept him as Toxie and feel they should have just created a new monster to go with the movie. His acting, as usual, is great, and I love seeing his facial expressions and how he projects his lines as if they are naturally flowing from his mouth in conversation. I just don't think this was the right character for him, or perhaps the right version of the character.
Then we have Kevin Bacon playing Bob Garbinger, the corrupt CEO of the pharmaceutical company responsible for this whole mess. I like Bacon, especially when he plays a villain. He has that ability to make you dislike a character while still enjoying his performance. Unfortunately, Bob is just another greedy corporate executive doing horrible things for money and power. Bacon does fine with the role, but I never found his character particularly interesting. For a movie this ridiculous, I expected a little more from the main villain.
Elijah Wood, on the other hand, was interesting to watch. I've always liked Wood, and I especially enjoy when actors like him and Daniel Radcliffe take on these bizarre roles that are completely different from what made them famous. Wood plays Fritz Garbinger, Bob's creepy younger brother, and the moment I saw him, I couldn't help but think of Danny DeVito's Penguin from Batman Returns, with a little Riff Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show thrown in.
I actually enjoyed watching him. The makeup, the mannerisms, and just how strange he looked were entertaining. But I kept wondering what the hell he was doing in this movie. His character just didn't seem to fit. He manages a gang of criminals called the Killer Nutz, and I understand their purpose in the story, but the whole thing felt unnecessarily bizarre, even for The Toxic Avenger. It actually made me wonder why Wood took the role in the first place. Maybe he just enjoys playing weird characters, and I can certainly appreciate that. I just wish the movie had given him something more interesting to do.
The other characters are practically nonexistent compared to the originals, with no real explanation for why I should care about them. Toxie's blind girlfriend is replaced by a son who isn't actually his son, but a stepson whom he is trying to raise alone after the mother passed away. As usual, the son becomes part of Toxie's struggle as he tries to raise him properly and afford the bills. I understand wanting to add some emotion to the story, but did we really need another struggling-parent storyline?
Bozo, Slug, Julie, and Wanda, the original bullies, are replaced by the Killer Nutz, a group of ridiculous criminal henchmen who make a few bad decisions and eventually get dispatched. They aren't scary or particularly funny. The original bullies were horrible people, and watching Toxie get his revenge was part of the entertainment. These new characters are just there to give him someone to fight.
Nothing much to say about the rest of the characters, as most were replaced, and I get it. This was a reimagining, not a straight remake, but do we really want that?
I felt this was more of an environmental and corporate greed message wrapped up in gore-soaked paper, and we were expected to love it. The original certainly had its own message, but it never seemed more important than entertaining the audience.
The original Toxic Avenger was disgusting, offensive, ridiculous, poorly acted, and completely entertaining. The new version has recognizable actors, more money, and modern effects, but somehow manages to be less entertaining.
I honestly think they failed to capture what made the original so enjoyable. There's nothing wrong with reimagining a classic, but when you change nearly everything that made it a classic, why bother calling it The Toxic Avenger?
For me, this was just another mutant superhero movie wearing Toxie's skin.