Sitting here with Screamboat on in the background, I can't help thinking about just how amazing these low-budget, straight-to-streaming public-domain horror movies are. The fact that filmmakers have taken beloved characters from my childhood, and the childhoods of generations before me, and decided to make them "terrifying" is wonderful.
Watching what is essentially a homeless Mickey Mouse murder low-budget actors on a ferry boat should not be this entertaining, but it absolutely is.
We've always had dark versions of fairy tales. Long before Disney cleaned everything up, stories collected by people like the Brothers Grimm were already full of death, violence, witches, curses, and people meeting horrible ends. But this feels different. Now we have Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet cutting people's heads off. We have a monstrous Popeye ripping someone's head off while they're sitting on the toilet. Bambi is hunting people through the woods. Peter Pan is a psychopath. Pinocchio apparently wants to become a real boy by using pieces of actual people.
This entire genre is ridiculous, and I love it.
The budgets are definitely not there. The acting can be questionable. The special effects sometimes look like somebody spent the afternoon at Spirit Halloween. But the fun is absolutely there. These movies seem completely aware of what they are. Nobody is trying to make The Godfather. They are making a movie where Popeye turns into a homicidal monster after a meteor shower, and I respect the hell out of that.
There is also something wonderfully wrong about taking characters that are almost permanently connected to childhood innocence and turning them into slasher villains. Pooh isn't supposed to chase somebody through the woods with a weapon. Mickey isn't supposed to stalk people around a ferry. Popeye is supposed to eat spinach, beat up Bluto, and save Olive Oyl, not rip someone's head off in a bathroom.
Yet here we are.
So, naturally, I now have a bucket list.
The Public-Domain Horror Bucket List
Popeye the Slayer Man (2025) (WATCHED) People sneak into an abandoned spinach factory and discover that Popeye has become an urban-legend slasher. Honestly, "abandoned spinach factory" tells me almost everything I need to know.
Shiver Me Timbers (2025) Apparently one homicidal Popeye wasn't enough. This time a meteor shower transforms him into a killing machine. It is also only 73 minutes long, which might be the perfect running time for something this stupid.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023) (WATCHED) The movie that really helped kick this whole craze into high gear. Pooh and Piglet have abandoned the Hundred Acre Wood lifestyle in favor of murdering people. Naturally.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey II (2024) More Pooh. More murder. And this time Tigger and Owl get involved because apparently nobody in the Hundred Acre Wood is doing particularly well.
Peter Pan's Neverland Nightmare (2025) (WATCHED) Peter Pan is a kidnapper, Wendy is trying to rescue Michael, and Tinker Bell is a drug addict who thinks she is taking fairy dust. That sentence alone earned this movie a place on the list.
Bambi: The Reckoning (2025) Bambi has somehow become a gigantic monstrous deer hunting people through the woods. Somewhere, Walt Disney is spinning.
Pinocchio: Unstrung (2026) Pinocchio wants to become a real boy. Unfortunately, his interpretation of how to accomplish that apparently involves removing pieces from actual human beings. It also has Robert Englund voicing Cricket, which somehow makes the whole thing even better.
The Mouse Trap (2024) Another horror take on the original Steamboat Willie version of Mickey. Friends trapped in an amusement arcade are hunted by a killer dressed as a giant mouse. Perfectly reasonable.
Mouseboat Massacre (2025) Because Screamboat and The Mouse Trap apparently did not satisfy the world's demand for murderous public-domain mice.
I Heart Willie (2025) This one somehow manages to make the Steamboat Willie idea even more disturbing by involving a psychopath who wants to use human skin to transform himself into Willie. So apparently Mickey Mouse and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre have finally crossed paths.
Cinderella's Curse (2024) Cinderella summons her fairy godmother from a flesh-bound book and goes on a murderous revenge spree. This is considerably different from the version I remember.
Cinderella's Revenge (2024) A completely separate murderous Cinderella movie released in the exact same year, because apparently there was a national shortage of homicidal princesses.
Mary Had a Little Lamb (2023) The "little lamb" is now a massive guy with a sheep head who murders people. Of course he is.
Three Blind Mice (2023) Three human-mouse creatures terrorize people at an isolated cabin. At this point it feels like filmmakers are simply flipping through old nursery-rhyme books looking for the next victim.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Death and Porridge (2024) I almost don't care whether this movie is any good. Someone came up with the title Death and Porridge, and that deserves recognition.
Alice in Terrorland (2023) Alice, the Mad Hatter, the Rabbit, and Wonderland get thrown into the low-budget horror machine. I'm honestly surprised it took this long.
And I'm sure this list is going to keep growing.
Every year, more old characters enter the public domain, and somewhere there is apparently a filmmaker waiting to ask the most important question imaginable:
"Okay, but what if he murdered people?"
I am completely here for it.